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The son of a good blacksmith must learn to make fur coats; the son of a good archer must learn to make winnowing baskets; the beginner must do the opposite, with the chariot in front of the horse. A gentleman who observes these three things can be determined to study.
Xiao Zhonglang is the father-in-law of Sun Chenggong. Liu Yin was sitting in Fujun, and was about to be appointed as the Minister of Rites. Liu Yin said, "I wonder if Xiao Zuzhou can be one of the Three Dukes? From then on, he has been able to do anything."
Zhi Daoling and Yin Yuanyuan were both in Xiangwang Xu. The King of Xiang said to the two men, "You can try to have a conversation with them. Your talents and natures are probably as solid as those of the two states of Yao and Han, so you better be careful!" Zhi started to act, but then he changed his tune and kept his distance. After a few conversations, he unknowingly entered into their mystery. The Prince of Xiang stroked his shoulder and said with a smile: "This is his victory. How can we argue with him?"
The Master said: "The great man does not get close to those who are virtuous, but trusts those who are humble; the people are lost because of this, and the teaching is troubled because of this. The Book of Songs says: "If they seek me, it is as if they cannot get me; if they hold my enemies, they will not be able to help me. ’Jun Chen said: ‘If you have not seen a sage, you are not able to see him; if you have seen a sage, you cannot follow him. ’”
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
When the emperor mourns for the princes, he wears a crown, a sash, and a black robe; some say: let the officials mourn for him, and do not use music or food. When the emperor mourns, the coffin is covered with a dragon carriage, and an axe is added to the coffin, and the house is covered with paint. This is the emperor's etiquette.
When the king marries his eldest son, he should have three carriages; when the duke marries his concubine, he should have one carriage; when the official marries his eldest son, he should have one carriage.
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