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During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.

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When there is a father's funeral, if the mother dies before the funeral, the father's mourning is over, and the mourning clothes are worn. After the funeral, the mourning clothes are returned. Even if it is the funeral of the father and the brothers, it is like the funeral of the parents, and the mourning of the father and the brothers is over, they all wear the mourning clothes. After the funeral, the mourning clothes are returned. If the three-year mourning , then after the ceremony, the auspicious signs are the same. When the king's father dies, before the ceremony, the grandson dies, which is still attached to the king's father. When there is a funeral, if you hear of the funeral outside, you should cry in another room. Enter the funeral, finish the funeral, go out, change your clothes and ascend the throne, just like the ceremony of ascending the throne. When the ministers and scholars are going to offer sacrifices to the duke, after they have seen and washed their bodies, if their parents die, they should still offer sacrifices, and then go to another palace. After the sacrifice, they should take off their clothes and go out of the duke's gate, cry and go home. Others are the same as the ceremony of rushing to the funeral. If they have not seen and washed their bodies, they should send someone to inform them. The informant will return, and then they can cry. For the funerals of fathers, brothers, aunts, and sisters, after staying overnight, they can offer sacrifices. After the funeral, they should go out of the duke's gate, take off their clothes and go home. Others are the same as the ceremony of rushing to the funeral. If they are in the same palace, they should go to another palace. Zengzi asked, "The ministers are going to offer the corpse to the duke, and they have received the night, but there is a mourning in the duke's palace, what should they do?" Confucius said, "It is the etiquette to go out of the duke's palace to wait for the event. Confucius said, "When the corpse is dressed in a hat and crown and brought out, the nobles, officials, and scholars should all lower themselves. The corpse must be arranged in a proper manner, and there must be a leader in front."

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It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.

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