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A good singer makes people follow his voice; a good teacher makes people follow his will. His words are concise but clear, subtle but good, and rarely use metaphors, which can be called continuing his will.
Serving parents is secretive but not offending, and the left and right are not good at taking care of them. They serve diligently until death and mourn for three years. If one makes a mistake in serving the lord but does not hide it, and takes good care of the lord in a proper way, and serves diligently until death, he shall mourn for three years. If one makes no mistake in serving the teacher and does not hide it, and takes good care of the lord in a proper way, and serves diligently until death, he shall mourn for three years in his heart.
There was a vacancy for the position of captain of infantry, and there were several hundred hu of wine stored in the kitchen, so Ruan Ji asked to be the captain of infantry.
The betrothal gift is seven intermediaries for the upper duke, five intermediaries for the marquis and earl, and three intermediaries for the viscount and the man, so as to distinguish the noble from the humble. When introducing and conveying orders, a gentleman dares not question the one he respects, which is the utmost respect. After three concessions, he can convey the order, enter the temple gate after three concessions, reach the steps after three bows, and ascend after three concessions, so as to show respect and humility.
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Sun Qiyou and Qizhuang were young, they visited Duke Yu. The Duke asked, "What is Qiyou's name?" He replied, "Qiyou." The Duke said, "What Qi do you want?" He replied, "Qi Xuyou." "What is Qizhuang's name?" He replied, "Qi Zhuang." The Duke asked, "What Qi do you want?" He replied, "Qi Zhuangzhou." The Duke said, "Why do you admire Zhuangzhou instead of Confucius?" He replied, "Sages are knowledgeable, so they are hard to admire." Duke Yu was very pleased with the child's answer.
Zijing wrote to Ziyou, saying "My brother and uncle are lonely and rarely get along, but when they drink, they get so drunk that they forget to go home, and that is something to be proud of."
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