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Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
The Master said: "If the future generations will talk about it, I will not do it. The gentleman follows the way and walks, but gives up halfway, I can't stop. The gentleman follows the middle way, retreats from the world and does not regret it, only the saints can do it. "
An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
Zhu Fashen was sitting next to Jianwen. Liu Yin asked, "Why does a Taoist visit rich families?" He replied, "You can see the rich families yourself. I, a poor Taoist, am like visiting a thatched cottage." Some people said it was Bian Ling.
Sun Changle's brothers went to Xie Gong's accommodation, and their words were mixed.
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