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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Meng Xianzi was mourning, but he hung his head but didn't enjoy himself, and he played the harp but didn't enter. The Master said, "Xianzi is one level higher than others!"
When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, “The only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!” His wife said, “Fu Ji’s wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?” The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."
When Yin Zhongkan was appointed to Jingzhou, Wang Dongting asked him, "Virtue is known as keeping everything intact, and benevolence is known as not harming things. Now you are the governor of China, and you are in charge of killing people. Isn't this contrary to my principles?" Yin Zhongkan replied, "Gao Yao created the system of punishment and exile, and he was not unvirtuous; Confucius was the chief prosecutor, and he was not unkind."
In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.
Xu Yun was the Minister of Personnel and he employed many people from his hometown. Emperor Ming of Wei therefore sent the Tiger Guards to recruit him. His wife came out and warned Yun, saying, "A wise ruler can take things away with reason, but it is difficult to persuade him with emotion." When Yun arrived, the emperor questioned her. Yun replied, "'Tell me who you know.' I know the people from my hometown. Your Majesty, please check whether they are competent for the job. If not, I will bear the consequences." After the inspection, all the people were appointed to the right positions, so Yun was released. Yun's clothes were worn out, so the emperor ordered him to be given new clothes. At first, when Yun was arrested, the whole family cried. Ruan's new wife said calmly, "Don't worry, he will be back soon." She prepared millet porridge and waited for him, and soon he arrived.
The son-in-law, following the groom's orders, searches for the winner and selects four persons, including Ren You from among them. When he was a child, he was cute and adorable, and people at that time said that he had a good figure and a long shadow. Since crossing the river, I have lost my ambition. Prime Minister Wang asked Shixian to go to Shitou to welcome him first, and they treated him as usual. As soon as they saw each other, they felt something was wrong. After sitting down at the table, he drank and asked people, "Is this tea? Is it tea?" He felt it had a different color, so he explained, "I was asked just now whether it was hot or cold." He once walked down from the coffin and cried sadly. Upon hearing this, Prime Minister Wang said, "This is a sentimental fool."
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