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Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.

Youzi asked Zengzi: "Have you asked about funerals, Master?" He said: "I have heard that funerals want to get poor quickly, and death wants to decay quickly." Youzi said: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen heard it from the Master." Youzi said again: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen and Ziyou heard it." Youzi said: "Yes, then the Master said it for a reason." Zengzi told Ziyou this. Ziyou said, "How wonderful! Youzi's words are similar to yours. Once upon a time, when the Master was living in Song, he saw Sima Huan making a stone coffin for himself, which took three years to complete. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to decay quickly than to die.' The desire to decay quickly was what Sima Huan said. When Nangong Jingshu returned, he would bring treasures with him to the court. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to become poor quickly than to be buried.' The desire to become poor quickly was what Jingshu said." Zengzi told him what Ziyou said. When Youzi was talking to Youzi, Youzi said, "Yes, I have always said that this is not what the Master said." Zengzi said, "How do you know this?" Youzi said, "The Master made a four-inch coffin and a five-inch outer coffin in Zhongdu, so he knew that he did not want to decay quickly. In the past, when the Master lost the position of Sikou of Lu and was about to go to Jing, he first asked Zixia and then Ran You, so he knew that he did not want to become poor quickly."

When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.




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更新时间:2025-03-21

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