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An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
The legend says: "There are those who are light and heavy, and the wife of a prince is his aunt. There are those who are heavy and light, and the wife's parents. There are those who are without mourning and with mourning, and the prince's wife is his brother-in-law. There are those who are with mourning and without mourning, and the prince is his wife's parents." The legend says: "When the mother is divorced, the stepmother's party mourning is worn; when the mother dies, the stepmother's party mourning is worn. If the stepmother's party mourning is worn, then the stepmother's party mourning is not worn."
Zixia said: "The words are great! Beautiful! Magnificent! Is it all that is said?" Confucius said: "Why is it so? The gentleman's clothes still have five rises." Zixia said: "How is it?" Confucius said: "The music without sound, the spirit and will are not violated; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are slow; the mourning without clothes, the inner forgiveness is sad. The music without sound, the spirit and will are obtained; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are cautious; the mourning without clothes is applied to the four countries. The music without sound, the spirit and will are in accordance with; the etiquette without form, the upper and lower are in harmony; the mourning without clothes, to keep all nations. The music without sound is heard in all directions every day; the ritual without form is heard day by day; the mourning without mourning clothes is pure virtue and wisdom. The music without sound is aroused; the ritual without form is spread to the four seas; the mourning without mourning clothes is spread to Sun Tzu. "
Wang Yifu's wife, the daughter of Guo Taining, was of humble talent but strong-willed. She was insatiable in accumulating wealth and was always meddling in other people's affairs. Yi Fu was worried about it but couldn't stop it. At that time, his fellow villager Li Yang, the governor of Youzhou, was a great hero in the capital, just like Lou Hu of the Han Dynasty, and the Guo family was afraid of him. Yi Fu suddenly advised him against it, and he said, "It's not just me who says you can't do it, Li Yang also says you can't do it." Guo was slightly hurt by this.
The reason why the ancient kings ruled the world is five: valuing virtue, valuing nobility, valuing the elderly, respecting the elders, and loving the young. These five are the reason why the ancient kings ruled the world. Valuing virtue, why? Because it is close to the Tao. Valuing nobility is because it is close to the monarch. Valuing the elderly is because it is close to relatives. Respecting the elders is because it is close to brothers. Loving the young is because it is close to children. Therefore, the most filial is close to the king, and the most brotherly is close to the hegemon. The most filial is close to the king, even if it is the emperor, there must be a father; the most brotherly is close to the hegemon, even if it is a prince, there must be a brother. The teachings of the ancient kings are followed and not changed, so they can lead the world and the country. Confucius said: "To establish love from one's relatives is to teach people to be harmonious. To establish education from one's elders is to teach people to be obedient. Teach people to be kind and harmonious, and people will value being close to one's relatives; teach people to respect elders, and people will value being obedient. Filial piety to parents, obedience to orders, and this is practiced throughout the world."
Mrs. Xie drew the curtain and asked the maids to perform in front of her so that the tutor could see them for a while, and then the curtain was lowered. The Grand Master asked for another opening, but the Lady said, "I am afraid it will hurt Shengde."
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
According to the etiquette of eating, the meat is placed on the left and the stew is placed on the right, the food is placed on the left and the soup is placed on the right. Outside the roasted part, inside the vinegar and sauce part, at the end of the scallion part, and on the right of the wine part. For those who use preserved meat, the left side is the top and the right side is the end. If the guest descends to a lower level and holds the food to say goodbye, the host will say goodbye to the guest, and then the guest will sit down. The host invites the guests to offer a sacrifice: the sacrificial food and the sacrificial objects are presented first. Confusion of order, and offering sacrifices to all. At the third meal, the host invites the guests to eat the meat, and then they debate. If the host does not argue, the guest will not speak in vain.
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