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During the funeral of Confucius, his disciples wondered what to wear. Zigong said, "In the past, when the Master mourned Yan Yuan, he did not wear any clothes as if he had mourned his son; and he did the same when he mourned his son Lu. Please mourn the Master as if you had mourned your father and do not wear any clothes."
When Ruan Ji was about to bury his mother, he steamed a fat pig, drank two buckets of wine, and then when he said goodbye, he bluntly said, "I am poor!" They all had to take number one, and because of vomiting blood, they were disabled for a long time.
Emperor Wen once ordered the King of Dong'e to compose a poem within seven steps. If he failed, he would be punished. He immediately composed a poem: "Cook the beans and make soup, strain the beans to make juice. The firewood is burning under the pot, and the beans are crying in the pot. We are from the same root, why are we so eager to harm each other?" The emperor looked deeply ashamed.
Zhong Shiji was a man of intelligence and talent, but he did not know Ji Kang at first. Zhong Yao and other talented and wise men of the time went to look for Kang. Kang Fang was forging iron under a big tree, and Xiang Ziqi was assisting him in beating the drums. Kang Yang continued to hammer as if no one was around, and did not say a word for some time. Zhong got up and left. Kang asked, "What did you hear and why did you come? What did you see and why did you leave?" Zhong said, "I came because I heard and I left because I saw."
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
People with the same surname follow the clan and are of the same clan; people with different surnames follow the name and govern the society. Names are written, but men and women are different. If the husband belongs to the father's way, his wife is the mother's way; if the husband belongs to the son's way, his wife is the wife's way. If the brother's wife is called "wife", can the sister-in-law also be called "mother"? Name is the most important thing in human governance, so can we not be careful? After four generations, the mourning period is exhausted; after five generations, the same surname is killed. After six generations, the relatives are exhausted. The common surnames are distinguished at the top, and the relatives are at the bottom. Can marriages be allowed? They are tied by surnames and are not distinguished, and they are tied by food and are not different. Even if a hundred generations, marriages cannot be allowed, this is the way of Zhou.
Whenever Xi Chao heard that someone wanted to retire to a noble place, he would raise funds worth millions for them and build them a residence. He built a house for Dai Gong in Shan, which was very fine. Dai Shi went to his old residence and wrote to his relatives, saying, "I have just arrived in Shan and it is like an official residence." Xi also arranged for Fu to raise funds of one million yuan, but Fu was busy with some secret matters and therefore he was not left behind.
When the princes travel and die in the guesthouse, they will return to their country. If they are on the road, they will raise the left hub of their carriage and use it to saddle it. Their saddles have a saddle, and they travel with black cloth skirts and white brocade curtains as a roof. When the temple gate is reached, the wall is not torn down before entering the place of burial, but only the chariot is used to announce the death outside the temple gate. When a senior official or scholar dies on the road, the left hub of the carriage is lifted up and the body is brought back with the reins. If the death occurs at the residence, the body is brought back as at home. Senior officials use cloth as chariots to walk, and when they arrive at home, they use the chariots to carry the body, and when they enter the gate and reach the steps on the east side, they use the chariots to carry the body, and then they are lifted up from the steps on the east side and brought back to the place of burial. The chariots of scholars use reed mats as the roof and cattail mats as the skirt and curtain.
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