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People at that time described Yu Zhonglang as "good at boasting and good at keeping himself hidden."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Yu Liang'er was killed by Su Junnan. Zhuge Daoming's daughter was Yu Er's wife. After she became a widow, she was about to remarry and wrote a letter to Liang about it. Liang replied, "The virtuous girl is still young, so it is appropriate. She is grateful for her lost son, as if he were still alive."
Due to the stone accident, the imperial court collapsed. Wen Zhongwu and Yu Wenkang went to Tao Gong to ask for help. Tao Gong said: "Emperor Su Zu's instructions were not heard, and Su Jun was in rebellion. The cause was caused by Yu. Killing his brothers will not be enough to apologize to the world." At that time, Yu was behind Wen's boat and heard about it. He was worried and didn't know what to do. On the day of separation, Wen advised Yu to meet Tao, but Yu hesitated and did not go. Wen said, "I know all about the river dogs. You just need to meet them, and you will have nothing to worry about!" Tao changed his opinion of Yu at the first sight of his demeanor and appearance. After talking and feasting all day, their love for each other grew stronger.
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
When the king and the official are about to bury the deceased, they should offer condolences in the palace; when they leave, they should order the officials to lead the mourners, but they should stop after three steps. After three times, the king will leave; they should do the same in the morning and at the funeral. Those who are fifty years old and do not have carriages should not cross the border to offer condolences.
Xun Zhonglang was in Jingkou. He climbed Beigu and looked at the sea. He said: "Although I haven't seen the three mountains, I feel like soaring to the sky. If I were the emperor of Qin or Han, I would lift my clothes and wet my feet."
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