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Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.

Tao Gong had great ambitions since he was young. His family was extremely poor, so he lived with his mother, Zhan. Fan Kui, a fellow countyman who was well-known, was selected as a filial and honest official and stayed at Kan's place. At that time, ice and snow accumulated day by day, and Kan's room was as dark as a hanging chime, while Kui had many horses and servants. Kan's mother, Mrs. Zhan, said to Kan, "You just go out and entertain the guests, and I will take care of the affairs myself." Zhan's hair fell to the ground, and the lower part was broken into two buns. She sold several bushels of rice, chopped down the pillars of the house, cut half of them into firewood, and ground the remaining hair into horse grass. Every day and evening, he provided fine food, so that his followers had nothing to lack. Kui was amazed at his eloquence and felt deeply ashamed of his kindness. The next morning he left, and Kan followed him closely, and they walked for about a hundred miles. Kui said, "The road is long, you should go back." Kan still did not return, so Kui said, "You can go now! We will talk about your good deeds in Luoyang." Kan then returned. Kui and Luo then praised them to Yang Zhi, Gu Rong and others, and they won great praise.

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