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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
Zengzi said: "At the grave of a friend, there is old grass, but no one should cry."
The emperor's wife is called the queen, the princes are called the lady, the great officials are called the young lady, the scholars are called the woman, and the common people are called the wife.
The host personally invites the guests to the door, and the guests follow him. As for the door, the host bows to the guests and the door, and the guests enter by themselves; the distinction between noble and humble is made. Three bows to the steps, three concessions to the guests, bowing to the door, offering, paying, and refusing are complicated. The door is simple. As for the guests ascending to receive, sitting to offer, standing to drink. No toasts and descending; the distinction between high and low is made.
Wang Ziyou served as a cavalry officer under Huan. Huan asked, "What is your department?" He replied, "I don't know. I see horses coming from time to time. I think I am in the horse department." Huan asked again, "How many horses do you have?" He replied, "If I don't ask about the horses, how can I know the number?" Huan asked again, "How many horses are dead?" He replied, "If I don't know the living, how can I know the dead?"
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
When Nangong Jiang's wife's aunt died, the Master taught her to wear her hair in a bun, saying, "Don't follow others, don't follow others. The hairpin is made of hazel, one foot long and eight inches in total."
Zhao Wenzi and Shu Yu watched Jiuyuan. Wen Zi said, "If the dead can be revived, who should I go home with?" Shu Yu asked, "Is it Yang Chufu?" Wen Zi said, "He has been in Jin and has not lost his body. His knowledge is not worth mentioning." "Is it his uncle who committed the crime?" Wen Zi said, "He sees profit and does not care about his lord. His kindness is not worth mentioning. Should I follow Wu Zi? He benefits his lord without forgetting himself, and seeks his own life without abandoning his friends."
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