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Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
The Master said: "The way of a gentleman is to open up the streets and the people are what the streets lack. "If a great man is a censor, the people will still go beyond him. Therefore, a gentleman should use rites to censor virtue, punish punishments to censor extravagance, and command to censor desire.
Also, the condolence ceremony of the princes is treated as if they were treated as princes. When the lady arrives, she enters from the gate and ascends from the side steps, while the prince is in the east. The rest is the same as the funeral ceremony. The sister-in-law does not caress the uncle, and the uncle does not caress the sister-in-law.
The Book of Songs says: "When wearing brocade, one should still wear a plain cloth." This is because it is disliked that the pattern is conspicuous. Therefore, the way of a gentleman is to be obscure but brighter day by day; the way of a villain is to be clear but disappear day by day. The way of a gentleman is to be indifferent but not disgusting, to be simple but elegant, to be warm but reasonable, to know the nearness of the far, to know the direction of the wind, to know the obviousness of the subtle, and to be able to enter virtue. The Book of Songs says: "Although he is hidden, he is also as bright as Confucius!" Therefore, a gentleman is not guilty when he examines himself, and has no evil in his ambition. What a gentleman cannot reach is what people cannot see! The Book of Songs says: "Even if the prime minister is in your room, he is not ashamed of the leaking roof." Therefore, a gentleman is respectful without moving, and trustworthy without speaking. The Book of Songs says: "When he reports a favor, he does not speak, and there is no dispute at the time." Therefore, a gentleman does not reward, but the people are encouraged, and does not get angry, but the people are as powerful as a sword. The Book of Songs says: "Don't show your virtue! The hundred officials will punish you." Therefore, a gentleman is sincere and respectful, and the world is peaceful. The Book of Songs says: "I have a clear mind, and I do not make loud noises or use color." Confucius said: "Sounds and colors are the least important in transforming the people." The Book of Songs says: "Virtue is like a hair." Even a hair has its own rules. The heaven's carriage is soundless and odorless, it is the ultimate!
When the husband of an aunt or sister dies, and there are no brothers in the husband's party, let the husband's family members take charge of the funeral. The wife's party, even if they are close, do not take charge. If the husband has no family, then the front and back families, the east and west families; if there is none, then the village Yin will take charge. Some say: take charge, and attach to the husband's party.
Xi Jiabin said to Xie Gong: "Although I did not kneel down to talk deeply, my thoughts were profound." He also said: "Youjun visited Jiabin." Jiabin heard it and said: "They cannot be called visits, but they can be called friends!" Xie Gong thought Jiabin's words were right.
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