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A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
When Liu Yu and his brothers were young, they were hated by Wang Kai, who once summoned them to stay overnight, intending to get rid of them silently. He ordered them to bury him in a mortar, and after that he would be harmed. Shi Chong was on good terms with Yu and Kun. When he heard that they were staying with Kai, he knew that something might happen, so he went to Kai at night to ask where the two Lius were. Kai had no choice but to hide the truth, and answered, "I am sleeping in the back room." Shi then went straight in, led him out, and left in the same carriage. As the saying goes: "Young man, why do you so easily accept someone's accommodation?"
Zilu said, "I heard from the Master that in funeral rituals, it is better to have more mourning than not mourning. In sacrificial rituals, it is better to have more respect than not respect."
Chen Taiqiu made an appointment with his friend to go out at noon. He did not arrive after passing the middle, so Taiqiu gave up. After he left, he arrived. Yuan Fang was seven years old at the time and was playing outside the door. The guest asked Yuan Fang, "Is your father here?" He replied, "I waited for you for a long time but you didn't come, so I left." His friend was angry and said, "What a cruel person! He made an appointment with someone and then left without saying goodbye." Yuan Fang said, "You made an appointment with my father at noon. If you don't come at noon, you are untrustworthy; if you scold your father in front of your son, you are rude." His friend was ashamed and got off the car to take him out. Yuan Fang walked in without paying any attention.
Someone gave Wei Wu a cup of cheese. Wei Wu ate a little and wrote the word "合" on his veil to show it to everyone. No one could understand it. When he came to Yang Xiu, Xiu ate it and said, "You told me to eat only one bite, why should I doubt it?"
Wang and Liu always disrespected Lord Cai. The two men once went to Cai and talked for a long time. Then they asked Cai, "How do you think you compare to Yi Fu?" Cai replied, "I am not as good as Yi Fu." Wang and Liu looked at each other and laughed, saying, "How are you not as good as him?" Cai replied, "Yi Fu is not as good as you!"
When the king gives a carriage and horses, ride to pay tribute to the gift; wear clothes to pay tribute to the gift; do not dare to ride or wear without the king's order. When the king gives, bow and place the gift on the ground with your palm; when wine and meat are given, do not bow twice. In all gifts, gentlemen and villains have different days. When offering to the king, the senior officials send the butcher, and the scholars are relatives, all bow twice and bow to send. When serving the king a meal, if there are meat peaches and straw, the straw is removed for the senior officials and the meat is removed for the scholars, and all are done by the butcher. The senior officials do not bow in person, as it is the king's response to themselves. The senior official bowed and gave gifts and left. The scholar waited for the promise and left. He bowed again, but no one bowed in return. The senior official personally gave gifts to the scholar. The scholar bowed and accepted. He bowed again in his room. He did not put on clothes before bowing. When the enemy was not present, he bowed in his room. Whenever he made an offering to a respected person, he did not dare to report it. The scholar did not accept the congratulations of the senior official. The lower official accepted the congratulations of the higher official. When the relatives were present, he addressed the person as father. If someone gave him gifts, he addressed him as father and bowed to him. The ceremony was not grand, and the clothes were not full. Therefore, the fur coat was not covered, and the carriage was not arranged in a proper manner.
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