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When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, “The only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!” His wife said, “Fu Ji’s wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?” The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."

Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.

The etiquette of running to the funeral: When you first hear about the death of a relative, you should cry and express your sorrow; when you ask the reason, you should cry and express your sorrow again. Then you should go, and travel a hundred miles a day, not at night. Only when your parents die, you should go when you see the stars, and stop when you see the stars. If you can’t go, you should wear mourning clothes before going. When you pass through the country, you should stop crying when you have cried. Cry and open the market. When you look at the country, you should cry. When you get home, you should go in the left, ascend from the west steps, lie down in the east, sit facing west, cry and express your sorrow, tie your hair and expose your body, and go down to the east of the hall. The host takes his seat, faces west and cries, dances, and wears a mourning robe in the east of the order, twisting his belt. Return to his seat, bow to the guest, dance, see the guest off, and return to his seat; if there is a guest who arrives later, he bows to him, dances and sees off the guest as before. All the host's brothers go out, and stop crying when they go out; close the door, and the attendant tells them to take their turn. Cry again, pull up the hair and bare the body, dance; cry for the third time, pull up the hair and bare the body again, dance. After three days, complete mourning, bow to the guest and see off the guest as before.

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更新时间：2025-03-19