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In the court, talk about etiquette, and answer with etiquette when asked about etiquette. At the grand feast, do not ask for divination, and do not be extravagant.
When Prime Minister Wang first arrived in Jiangzuo, he wanted to form an alliance with the people of Wu and asked for marriage with General Lu. He replied: "There are no pines or cypresses in the mound, and the incense and weeds are not in the same container. Although I am not talented, it is not the right thing for me to start an incestuous relationship."
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
Lord Tao was seriously ill and did not offer any suggestion for a replacement, which the officials in the court thought was resentful. When King Injo heard this, he said, "There are no cunning people at this time, so I will not pass on Mr. Tao's words." The wise men of the time regarded it as a virtuous message.
When Confucius was in Wei, he encountered the funeral of an old abbot. He went in and wept. When he left, he asked Zigong to persuade the charioteer and give him gifts. Zigong said, "I have never persuaded the charioteer for the funeral of my disciple. Is it too much to persuade the charioteer in the old abbot?" The Master said, "My fellow villagers went in and wept, and wept when they met a sad thing. I hate that I have no reason to cry. You should do it." When Confucius was in Wei, there were people attending the funeral, and the Master watched them and said, "How well they conduct the funeral! It is worthy of being a model. You should know it." Zigong said, "What is so good about you, Master?" He said, "When he went, he seemed to be longing, and when he returned, he seemed to be suspicious." Zigong said, "Is it better to return quickly and be anxious?" The Master said, "You know it, but I can't do it." When Yan Yuan died, he presented auspicious meat. Confucius went out to receive it, and then he played the zither and ate it.
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