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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
When judging a person, he must be of the same rank.
Wang Ziyou left the capital and was still at the foot of the islet. I had heard before that Huan Ziye was good at playing the flute, but we didn't know each other. The king met Huan passing by on the shore while he was in the boat. A passenger who recognized him said, "This is Huan Ziye." The king then sent someone to tell him, "I heard that you are good at playing the flute. Please try to play it for me." Huan was already noble and prominent at that time. He had always heard of the king's name, so he got off the car, sat on a Hu bed, and played three tunes for him. After finishing, he got in the car. The host and the guest did not exchange a single word.
The military governor asked Sun Xinggong: "What do you think of Liu Zhenchang?" He said: "Clear, elegant and simple." "What do you think of Wang Zhongzu?" He said: "Gentle and peaceful." "What do you think of Huan Wen?" He said: "High and bold." "What do you think of Xie Renzu?" He said: "Clear, easy and fluent." "What do you think of Ruan Sikuang?" He said: "Great and fluent." "What do you think of Yuan Yang?" He said: "Clear and convenient." "What do you think of Yin Hongyuan?" He said: "He is thoughtful." "What do you think of yourself?" He said: "My talents and experiences are not as good as those of the wise men; as for considering the times and covering the world, I am also not as good as them. However, although I am not talented, I often express my thoughts on Xuansheng, chant Laozi and Zhuangzi from afar, and live a desolate and lofty life. I don't care about the current affairs. I think this heart is unmatched."
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
Sun Changle wrote Wang Chang's history and said, "I and my husband are not snobbish in their dealings, their hearts are like clear water, and they have the same mysterious taste."
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