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Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"

Han Kangbo and Xie Xuan did not have a deep relationship. After Xuan's expedition to the north, people on the street suspected that he would not be able to recover. Kang Bo said, "This man loves fame, so he must be good at fighting." Xuan was very angry when he heard this, and often said in front of the crowd with a stern face, "A man who leads a thousand soldiers into a deadly situation to serve his lord and parents should not talk about fame anymore."

As a son, you must tell your parents when you go out and see them when you come back. Where you go must be regular and what you learn must be disciplined. Never say old. If one is twice as old as his father, he should be served by his father; if one is ten years older than his elder brother, he should be served by his elder brother; if one is five years older than his elder brother, he should be served by his shoulder. When five people live in a group, the elder one must sit at a separate seat.




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