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He Cidao once sent a man from the east and saw Jia Ning in the back wheel. He said, "If this man doesn't die, he will become a distinguished guest of the princes in the end."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xie Zhonglang passed by the Houhu Lake of Qu'a and asked his attendants, "What kind of water is this?" They replied, "Qu'a Lake." Xie said, "It is a place where water flows into the deep and does not flow."
Yu Xiaofu was the Minister of the Imperial Secretariat of Emperor Wu of Han. The emperor asked him calmly, "I have never heard of you making any offerings while you were my retainer." Yu's home was in Fuchun, near the sea. He told the emperor that he was looking forward to his spirit. He replied, "The weather is still warm. Fish and shrimps (Yu Qiang) cannot be brought in yet. I will make an offering to you soon." The emperor clapped his hands and laughed.
When Grand Marshal Huan came down to the capital, he asked Zhenzhang, "I heard that the King of Kuaiji said that you are very advanced. Is that you?" Liu said, "You are very advanced, so you are the second-rate people!" Huan asked, "Who are the first-rate people?" Liu said, "It's us!"
When Cai Situ crossed the river and saw Peng Xie, he was overjoyed and said, "Crabs have eight legs and two claws." He ordered them to be cooked. After eating, I vomited and felt exhausted, then I realized it was not crab. Later, he told Xie Renzu about this, and Xie said, "You are not familiar with Erya, and you almost died because of my persuasion to study."
When Cai Situ was in Luoyang, he saw that Lu Ji and his brothers lived in the three-room tiled house of the Assistant Director General. Shilong lived in the east end and Shiheng lived in the west end. Shilong is a gentle and cute person. Shi Heng was over seven feet tall, his voice was like a bell, and his words were often generous.
In mourning of parents, after the funeral, one should cry for the deceased, eat simple food and drink water, and not eat vegetables and fruits; in the time of the minor auspiciousness, one should eat vegetables and fruits; in the time of the major auspiciousness, one should eat soy sauce; in the middle of the month, one should mourn, and drink sweet wine during the mourning. Those who start drinking should drink sweet wine first. Those who start eating meat should eat dried meat first. In the case of parents' funeral, people live in a lean-to house, sleep on straw and a block of pillow, and do not wear mourning clothes; in the case of mourning of the first mourning period, people live in a whitened room, and do not wear sackcloth or bees; in the case of mourning of the second mourning period, people sleep on mats, and in the case of mourning of the third mourning period, people wear hemp and a bed. This is the way that grief is expressed in the place where one lives.
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