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All the servants in Zheng Xuan's family were educated. Once he sent a maid to do something that did not please him, so he was about to beat her. As he was about to explain his story, Xuan became angry and ordered someone to drag chopsticks into the mud. After a while, another maid came and asked, "Why are you in the mud?" She replied, "I went to complain and met with his anger."
Deng Ai stuttered and called himself "Ai Ai". King Wen of Jin teased him and said, "You say 'Ai Ai', how many Ai are you talking about?" He replied, "Phoenix, Phoenix, so it is one Phoenix."
Wang Changyu was a cautious and obedient person, and he was filial to his parents with all his heart. The prime minister was always happy when he saw Changyu, and always angry when he saw Jingyu. When Chang Yu talked with the Prime Minister, he always emphasized caution. Whenever the Prime Minister returned to the court, he would always be escorted to the back of the carriage. Heng and Madam Cao were both placed in the same box. After Changyu's death, the prime minister returned to the palace. After getting on the carriage, he cried all the way to the gate of the palace. Madam Cao made a basket and sealed it, but she could not bear to open it.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Wang Rong was a young man, he visited Ruan Ji. Liu Gongrong was also present. Ruan said to the king, "I happen to have two buckets of fine wine, and I would like to drink it with you. That Gong Rong has no right to drink it." The two men exchanged cups, and Gong Rong did not get a single drink. But when it came to talking and discussing drama, the three of them were no different. When someone asked him about this, Ruan replied, "Those who are more honorable than you have to drink with; those who are less honorable than you have to drink with; only those who are honorable as you have to drink with you can not drink with you."
Wang Lang always recommended Hua Xin for his insight and judgment. On the day of Xinla, he would gather his sons and nephews for a feast and drink, and the king also followed his example. Someone told Zhang Hua about this, and Zhang said, "What Wang learned from Hua is all beyond the physical body, which is why he went even further."
Wang Changshi said: "Liu Yin knows me better than I know myself."
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