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Duke Xian of Jin died, Duke Mu of Qin sent people to offer condolences to Prince Chong'er, and said, "I have heard that the loss of a country is always here, and the recovery of a country is always here. Although my son is in mourning, the mourning cannot be too long, and the time cannot be lost. You should plan it." He told his uncle Fan, who said, "You should refuse it. A bereaved person has no treasure, but a loving relative is a treasure. What is the point of the father's death? And you think it is profitable, but who in the world can persuade you? You should refuse it." Prince Chong'er said to the guests, "You are kind enough to offer condolences to the deceased minister Chong'er. I lost my father myself, but I cannot cry with you and grieve for you. What is the point of the father's death? If someone dares to have other intentions, it will insult your righteousness." He bowed his head without kneeling, and stood up after crying, but did not hesitate. Zi Xian told Duke Mu of Qin about his death. Duke Mu said, "The benevolent Prince Chong'er! If you bow your head but don't kowtow, you are not yet the heir, so you can't kowtow; if you cry and then get up, you love your father; if you get up without selfishness, you are looking for benefits."
When Emperor Ming of Jin was a few years old, he sat on Emperor Yuan's lap. Someone came from Chang'an, and Emperor Yuan asked about the news from Luoxia, and burst into tears. Emperor Ming asked why he was crying. I told him my intention to cross the river to the east. He then asked Emperor Ming, "How far do you think Chang'an is compared to the sun?" He replied, "The sun is far away. Haven't you heard that people come from the side of the sun? How can you know it?" Emperor Yuan was surprised. Tomorrow I will gather all the ministers for a banquet, inform them of this intention, and ask them again. He replied, "The sun is near." The Yuan Emperor was dismayed and asked, "Why do you say something different from what you said yesterday?" He replied, "I can see the sun but not Chang'an."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xie Cheqi asked Xie Gong: "If a person is really aloof, why is he so important?" He replied: "It is because he does not see it! Seeing Zi Jing still makes people unable to stop."
Wang Yifu sighed: "When I talk with Le Ling, I always feel that what I say is annoying."
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