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Chengren had a brother who died but did not wear mourning clothes. When he heard that Zigao would be the chief minister of Chengren, he wore mourning clothes. Chengren said, "Silkworms weave and crabs have ribs, fan weaves and cicadas have ribbons. When his brother died, Zigao wore mourning clothes."
Xie E respected his elder sister very much, and Zhang Xuan often praised his younger sister, hoping to rival her. There was a man named Jini, who visited the homes of both Zhang and Xie. People ask about its advantages and disadvantages? The answer was: "Mrs. Wang has a relaxed and cheerful demeanor, so she has the air of a forest dweller. Mrs. Gu has a pure heart and a beautiful reflection of her beauty, so she is naturally the beauty of the boudoir."
When Emperor Cheng was in Shitou, Ren Rang killed the Palace Attendant Zhong Ya and the Right Guard General Liu Chao in front of the emperor. The emperor cried and said, "Give me back my ministers!" Rang disobeyed the order, so Chao and Ya were executed. After the matter was settled, Tao Gong had an old relationship with Rang and wanted to pardon him. Xu Liu'er's longing for her mother-in-law is the best, and you gentlemen want to help her. If he thought of his mother-in-law, he would have no choice but to give in to Tao Quan, so he wanted to pardon them both. When the matter was reported to the emperor, he said, "Rang was the one who killed my minister and he cannot be forgiven!" The officials believed that the young master should not be disobeyed, so they executed both men.
Taishu Guang was very eloquent, and Zhi Zhongzhi was good at calligraphy, and both of them became ministers. Whenever he sat down with the Duke, they would talk extensively, but Zhongzhi could not respond. It is difficult to express my thoughts broadly if I retreat, and I cannot answer if I express my thoughts broadly.
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
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