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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
There was a man named Zhou Feng in Lu. Duke Ai held a seal and asked to see him, but he said no. The Duke said, "I'll stop!" He sent someone to ask him, "The Yu clan did not show trust to the people, but the people trusted them; the Xia clan did not show respect to the people, but the people respected them. How did they get this from the people?" He replied, "In the ruins and tombs, they did not show grief to the people, but the people mourned; in the altars and ancestral temples, they did not show respect to the people, but the people respected them. The Yin people made an oath, but the people began to rebel; the Zhou people made a meeting, but the people began to doubt. If there is no courtesy, righteousness, loyalty, sincerity and honesty to govern them, even if they are firmly united, will the people not break away?"
In the way of learning, it is difficult to have a strict teacher. Only when the teacher is strict can the way be respected, and only when the way is respected can the people know to respect learning. Therefore, there are two things that the ruler should not be a servant to his ministers: when they are corpses, they should not be a servant, and when they are teachers, they should not be a servant. The etiquette of the university, even if it is issued to the emperor, does not face north; this is to respect the teacher.
Luo You from Xiangyang had great poetic talent, and was often called a fool when he was young. Once I visited someone's temple and wanted to beg for food, but I went too early and the door was not open. The host went out to welcome the god and asked why he was here at such a bad time. He replied, "I heard about your temple and wanted to beg for a meal." Then he hid beside the door. At dawn, he had his food and left without any shame on his face. He was a man who recorded his merits. He followed Huan Xuanwu in pacifying Shu. He visited the city walls, palaces, and buildings of Shu, as well as the width and narrowness of the roads inside and outside, and the number of fruit trees and bamboos planted. He memorized them all. Later, Xuanwu Piaozhou and Jianwen Collection were collected, and friends also participated. We talked about things in Shu together, and there were some things we had forgotten. All the friends were listed without any mistakes or omissions. Xuanwu checked the records of the city walls and palaces of Shu and found that they were all as he said. Those sitting there were amazed. Xie Gong said: "How can Luo You be inferior to Wei Yangyuan!" Later he became the governor of Guangzhou. When he was in charge of the garrison, the governor Huan Huo told his order not to stay overnight. He replied, "The people have already done this in advance. The host is poor, and may have money for food and wine. We have a long history, so please accept your orders on another day." Zheng Xi secretly sent people to investigate. On that day, he went to the home of his assistant in Jingzhou, where he felt very comfortable and at ease, just like a successful person. In Yizhou, Yuer said, "I have food utensils for five hundred people." Everyone in his family was shocked. Its origin is clear, but the sudden appearance of this thing must be the 250 stacks of black bamboo.
Duke Xiang of Song buried his wife with a hundred jars of salted meat. Zeng Zi said, "Since it is said that the utensils are clear, it is also filled." At the funeral of Meng Xianzi, Si Tu Lu returned to Si Bu. The Master said, "Yes." Reading the 赐, Zengzi said, "It is not ancient, it is a second report." Cheng Zigao was ill in bed, and Qing Yi came in and asked, "Your illness has worsened. If it becomes a serious illness, what should I do?" Zigao said, "I have heard that life is beneficial to people, and death is not harmful to people. Even if I am not beneficial to people in life, can I harm people in death? When I die, choose a place where no food is eaten and bury me there."
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
King Sima Jing went on an expedition to the east and captured Li Xi of Shangdang and made him a Zhonglang Attendant. He then asked Xi, "My father invited you to come, but you refused. Now I am calling you. Why did you come?" Xi replied, "My father treated me with courtesy, so I was able to advance and retreat with courtesy. You are a man of law, and I came here out of fear of the law!"
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