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After the grave is completed, they return home, and dare not enter the room. They live in a lean-to, mourning for their parents outside; they sleep on straw and pillows, mourning for their parents in the ground. Therefore, they cry without time, serve diligently for three years, and their longing for their parents is the will of filial sons and the reality of human nature.

When attending the funeral of the mother, face west and cry until he is exhausted, pull up the hair and bare the body, go down to the east of the hall and take the seat, cry to the west, dance, wear a mourning robe and take off the mourning robe in the east of the order, bow to the guest and see off the guest as before. The ritual of visiting one’s father is to cry again without tying up one’s hair. When a woman attends a funeral, she ascends from the east steps, goes to the east, sits facing west, cries out her sorrow, wears her hair in the east bun, takes the throne, and dances with the host. A woman who attends a funeral does not attend the funeral, but goes to the tomb first, sits facing north, cries out her sorrow. The host is waiting for her, so she sits on the left side of the tomb, and the woman on the right side of the tomb. After she finishes her mourning, she ties up her hair, takes the host’s seat in the east, wears a mourning sash and a belt, cries out her sorrow, pays respect to the guest, returns to her seat, finishes her dance, and the attendant announces that the matter is complete. Then she wears a crown and goes home, enters the door on the left, faces north. After crying out loud, the host will tie up his hair and bare his clothes, then take the throne in the east, bow to the guest and dance. When the guest leaves, the host will bow to see him off; if there is a guest who arrives later, the host will bow to him and dance; and see the guest off as before. All the host's brothers will go out, and when they leave, they will stop crying, and the attendant will tell them to take their turn. After crying again, the host will tie up his hair and dance; after crying for the third time, the host will tie up his hair and dance again. After three days, the mourning period will be completed, and after crying for the fifth time, the attendant will tell them that the matter is over. For the mother, who is different from the father, one part of the hair is tied up, and the rest is exempted from the funeral, and the rest is the same as the funeral of the father.

When Kong Wenju was ten years old, he went to Luo with his father. At that time, Li Yuanli was famous and served as the Inspector of the Capital Region. Only those with outstanding talents and reputation, as well as those who were his cousins, were allowed to visit him. When Wen Ju arrived at the gate, he said to the clerk, "I am the relative of Lord Li." After being let in, he sat down in front. Yuanli asked, "What is the relationship between you and me?" He replied, "In the past, my ancestor Confucius and your ancestor Boyang had a teacher-student relationship. So you and I have been friends for generations." Yuanli and the guests were all surprised. When Taizhong Daifu Chen Wei arrived later, people told him the same words. Wei said, “A child who is very smart when he is young may not be a good person when he grows up!” Wen Ju said, “I think you must have been very smart when you were young!” Wei was very embarrassed.

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