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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Wang Zijing was seriously ill, the Taoist priest wrote a memorial to confess his faults and asked Zijing, "What are the similarities and differences, gains and losses?" Zijing said, "I don't think of anything else, but I remember divorcing the Xi family."
Fu Qian was already well versed in the Spring and Autumn Annals and was about to write a note on it, wanting to refer to similarities and differences. He heard that Cui Lie had gathered his disciples to lecture on the Spring and Autumn Annals, so he hid his name and was hired out to Lie's disciples to work for a living. Whenever he was talking, he would eavesdrop on what was happening behind the door. Knowing that no one can surpass myself, I discuss my strengths and weaknesses with other students. Lie Wen was surprised and didn't know who he was, but he had heard of Qian's name and was suspicious of him. He went there early in the morning, and before he woke up, he called out, "Zi Shen! Zi Shen!" Qian was startled and responded, and they then became friends.
Xun Xu was good at understanding sounds, and people at that time called him a secret understander. Then he adjusted the musical scale and corrected the elegant music. During every formal meeting, music was played in the palace, with the tunes of the gong and shang being adjusted to the rhythm of the music. Ruan Xian appreciated it very much and praised it as a divine understanding. Every time there is music in a public gathering, the mind is not in tune. Since he did not say a word of encouragement, he was jealous of him and thus sent Ruan away to be the prefect of Shiping. Later, there was a farmer who was tilling the field and found a jade ruler from the Zhou Dynasty. This became the standard ruler for the whole world. Xun tried to compare the bells, drums, metal, stone, silk and bamboo instruments he had made, and found that they were all one grain short, so he subdued Ruan's spirit.
This month, the wild game is ordered not to cut down mulberry trees. The doves are calling and brushing their feathers, and the hoopoes are landing on the mulberry trees. Plant the baskets with twisted leaves. The queens and concubines are all on guard, and they go to the east to work on the mulberry trees. Women are forbidden to watch, and women are reduced to encourage silkworm work. When the silkworm work is completed, the cocoons are divided and the silk is weighed to reward the work.
When Bo Yu's mother died, he cried even after a certain period of time. The Master heard about it and said: "Who is crying with you?" The disciple said: "It's the carp." The Master said: "Hey! It's too much." Bo Yu heard about it and then got rid of it.
The rituals for women are established to make it clear that women are obedient, and they are also explained in order, so that women are required to be obedient. A submissive woman is obedient to her uncles and aunts, and harmonious with the family members; then she is responsible to her husband, and completes the affairs of silk, linen, cloth and silk, and carefully guards the accumulation and storage. Therefore, only when women are obedient can the family be harmonious and orderly; only when the family is harmonious and orderly can the family last long; therefore, the sage kings attach great importance to it.
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