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When Xi Jiabin died, his wife's brothers wanted to bring their sister back, but she refused to come. He said: "Even if I cannot live in the same room with Xi Lang, I would rather not be buried in the same grave with him after death!"
Ruan Xuanzi was cutting down trees on the community site, and someone tried to stop him. Xuan Zi said: "If a community is built on a tree, and the tree is cut down, the community will perish; if a tree is built on a community, and the tree is cut down, the community will move."
In the battle at Lang, Gongshu Yu met a man who came to the rescue with a stick on his back and said, "Even if he is sick and the responsibility is heavy, a gentleman cannot make plans, and a scholar cannot die. No! I have already said it." He and his neighbor Tong Wangji went there, and they all died there. The people of Lu wanted to avoid the death of Tong Wangji, so they asked Zhongni. Zhongni said: "If you can take up arms to defend the state, even if you don't want to die, isn't it good?"
When a sage sits south and listens to the world, he must first do five things, but the people do not follow them. One is to govern relatives, two is to reward merits, three is to promote the virtuous, four is to use the capable, and five is to preserve love. If one of the five is obtained in the world, the people will have no shortage and no one will be unsatisfied. If one of the five is wrong, the people will not die. When a sage sits south and governs the world, he must start with the human way.
Yu Xiaofu was the Minister of the Imperial Secretariat of Emperor Wu of Han. The emperor asked him calmly, "I have never heard of you making any offerings while you were my retainer." Yu's home was in Fuchun, near the sea. He told the emperor that he was looking forward to his spirit. He replied, "The weather is still warm. Fish and shrimps (Yu Qiang) cannot be brought in yet. I will make an offering to you soon." The emperor clapped his hands and laughed.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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