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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
When Liu Qingsun was in the Taifu Mansion, he was framed by many people of the time. Only Yu Zisong was so absorbed in worldly affairs that he had no time to rest. Later, because he was frugal by nature and had a wealthy family, he persuaded the Grand Tutor to exchange it for tens of millions, hoping that the emperor would be stingy and he could take advantage of it. The Grand Tutor asked Yu in front of everyone. Yu was drunk at the time, with his cap falling on the table. He put his head to pick it up and replied slowly, "I have two or three thousand shawls at home. You can take whatever you want." Then he obeyed. Later, someone told Yu about this, and Yu said, "It can be said that one is using the concerns of a villain to judge the heart of a gentleman."
In this month, the day is the longest, and the yin and yang are in conflict, and life and death are divided. Gentlemen should be vigilant, and they must cover their bodies when they are at home, and not be impatient. They should stop listening to music and not let anyone come. They should eat less and not be too harmonious. Control your desires, calm your mind, and keep all officials quiet and free from punishment, so as to determine the achievements of the late Yin. Deer antlers fall off, cicadas begin to sing. Pinellia grows, and violets bloom. In this month, do not use fire in the south. You can live in high and bright places, look far away, climb mountains and hills, and live in terraces.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
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