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A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
Ji Kang and Lu Anshan were good friends. Whenever they missed each other, they would travel thousands of miles together. An came later, and when Kang was not at home, he was happy to go out and invite him in, but he did not come in. He wrote the word "Phoenix" on the door and left. I was happy without realizing it, but I still thought I was happy, so I pretended to be happy. The word "Phoenix" means any bird.
Xu Yuan once visited Jianwen. It was a windy and calm night with a bright moon, so they composed music and talked in the room. Expressing one’s inner thoughts is Xu’s forte. The words are clear and graceful, more than usual. Although Jianwen and he had always been in sync, this encounter was even more regrettable. Unconsciously they knelt down and spoke with their hands, and the conversation lasted until almost dawn. Then he said: "Xuan Du has great talent and sentiment, so it is not easy to give him many compliments."
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
Kong Pushe was the attendant of Emperor Xiaowu, and was invited to visit Emperor Liezong's tomb in advance. Kong was the Minister of Rites at the time. He was thin and frail, and wore heavy mourning clothes. He cried all day long, and those who saw him thought he was a truly filial son.
The guest must face south. The east is spring, and spring means stupidity, and the one who produces all things is the saint. The south is summer, and summer means borrowing. To nurture, grow, and borrow is benevolence. The west is autumn, and autumn means sorrow. To be sad with time is to observe and keep righteousness. The north is winter, and winter means the middle, and the middle is to hide. Therefore, when the emperor is established, the left is the saint and the right is the benevolent, and the right is the righteousness and the hidden. The host must face east, which is the host and the guest. The host must live in the east, and the east is spring, and spring means stupidity, and the one who produces all things; the host creates it, and the one who produces all things. The moon is formed in three days, and the three months are formed in time. Therefore, there are three concessions in etiquette, and three ministers must be established when a country is established. The three guests are the foundation of politics and education, and the great reference of etiquette.
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