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During the reign of Emperor Yuan, the Chief Justice Zhang Kai lived in Xiaoshi and built a private gate that closed in the morning and opened in the evening. The small people were worried about this and went to the county government to file a complaint, but their case was not heard. They then went to the county court to file a complaint, but still no verdict was made. When he heard that Sikong He had left, he went to Pogang and went to He to file a complaint. He said, "I have been conscripted as a ritual official and this matter has nothing to do with me." The young men kowtowed and said, "If the governor is not treated well again, we will have nowhere to complain." He said nothing and ordered them to leave and to report to Zhang Tingwei when they saw him. When Zhang heard this, he immediately demolished the gate and went to Fangshan to greet him. He came out to see him and said, "There is no need to see Guan, but I have a relationship with you, so I cherish it." Zhang thanked him ashamedly and said, "I didn't know that I was like this at the beginning, and I was ruined long ago."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Duke Yu was the Protector General, he asked Huan Tingwei to find a good official, and the search lasted for years. Queen Huan met Xu Ning and learned about it, so she told Yu Gong: "What others should have, you don't have to have; what others should not have, you don't have to not have. He is truly a pure man in the sea and mountains."
Xian Zi Suo said: "I heard that in ancient times, there was no decline, and the upper and lower classes each chose their relatives. Teng Bowen mourned for Menghu, his uncle; he mourned for Mengpi, his uncle." Hou Mu said: "Mourning, I heard from the county masters that mourning must be thought deeply and long, and the coffin should be changed inside and outside. I will do the same when I die." Zengzi said: "The corpse has not been decorated yet, so the hall is covered with curtains, and the burial is small and the curtains are clear." Zhongliangzi said: "The husband and wife are in chaos, so the hall is covered with curtains, and the burial is small and the curtains are clear." For the small burial, Ziyou said: "In the east." Zengzi said: "In the west, the mat is gathered." The small burial was in the west, which was a loss in the late Lu ritual. Xianzi said, "The mourning clothes and skirts are not ancient." Zi Pu died, and the weeping people cried out. Zi Gao said, "This is wild." The weeping people changed.
When a son serves his parents: if he advises them three times but they still don’t listen, he should cry and follow them. When the king is ill and takes medicine, the minister should taste it first. When a parent is ill and takes medicine, the son should taste it first.
The king's right army is in the south, the prime minister and the book, every sighing son and nephew do not order the cloud: "Tiger (dog tun), tiger calf, return it as it is."
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