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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
Zigong asked Confucius, "May I ask why gentlemen value jade and despise enamel? Is it because jade is scarce and enamel is plentiful?" Confucius said, "It is not because enamel is plentiful that they despise it, but because jade is scarce that they value it. In the past, gentlemen compared virtues to jade: warm and moist, it is benevolence; meticulous and fine, it is knowledge; incorruptible but not sharp, it is righteousness; hanging like a string, it is courtesy; knocking, the sound is clear and long, and it bends at the end, it is music; flaws do not cover the beauty, and beauty does not cover the flaws, it is loyalty; trustworthiness is everywhere, it is trustworthiness; aura is like a white rainbow, it is heaven; spirit is seen in mountains and rivers, it is earth; jade is outstanding, it is virtue. What is valued by all in the world is the Tao. The Book of Songs says, 'When I think of a gentleman, he is as warm as jade.' Therefore, gentlemen value it."
If you have worn a three-year-old white cap, you can replace it with the hemp of great merit; only the walking stick and shoes cannot be changed. When there is a death of parents, the merit is reduced, and when you are with your brother, you can wear a white cap. When you are with your brother, you are called Yang Tong Mou Fu, without a name, and it is a god. When you live separately, when you first hear about your brother's death, you can only cry in response. When you first wear hemp, you can wear a mourning belt. If you go to the funeral without wearing hemp, and the host has not yet worn mourning, you should wear it with the host if you are distant, and wear it with the host if you are close. , and the number of days of wearing the hemp belt and mourning clothes. When the master's concubine dies, the son shall be in charge of everything from mourning clothes to the linen auspicious ceremony. The funeral and sacrifice shall not be held in the main wife. The master shall not care for the servant concubine. When the queen dies, the concubine shall wear the party clothes of the queen. If the queen takes over, the concubine shall not wear the party clothes of the previous queen.
Pei Linggong looked at Xiahou Taichu: "He was solemn and awe-inspiring, like entering a temple. He did not practice respect but people showed respect to him." Yi said: "It was like entering an ancestral temple, where one could hear the sounds of ritual instruments. Seeing Zhong Shiji was like looking into an armory, where one could see spears and halberds. Seeing Fu Lanshuo was like looking at the Jiang Palace. Seeing a huge source on a mountain was like climbing a mountain and looking down, where it was deep and secluded."
Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
Wang Dongting was the chief clerk of Xuanwu. One spring day, he and his brothers Shitou rode on horseback to the suburbs. Shi Yan and his fellow travelers marched together. Only one person from Dongting was always in front, and he could sense it several dozen steps away, but no one could understand it. Shitou and others were tired, and soon the imperial carriage returned. Everyone seemed to be an official, except Dongting Yiyi who was standing in front. His understanding is so quick.
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