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People say that "Yu Wenkang is jade in a good year, and Zhigong is grain in a famine year." Yu Jia Lun says that Wen Kang called "Gong is the grain in a famine year, and Yu Changren is the jade in a good year."
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
If the person who attends the funeral is not the host, the host will bow to the guest and see off the guest. The person who attends the funeral, from the Qisui and below, enters the left courtyard and faces north, cries until he is exhausted, takes off the mourning robe in the east of the order, takes the seat and bares the body, cries and dances with the host. Cry again and cry for the third time, and if there is a guest, the host bows to the guest and sees him off. The husband and wife treat each other as if they were crying morning and night, and their position does not change.
When Wang Pingzi was sent out to be the governor of Jingzhou, Taiwei Wang and other wise men came to see him off promptly. At that time, there was a big tree in the courtyard, and there was a magpie's nest on it. Pingzi took off his clothes and towel, and went up the tree to pick the magpie. The cool clothes were caught on the branches and then taken off. When the magpie returned, he played with it, looking calm and composed, as if no one was around. The Taoist priest sat high above the Prime Minister and always lay beside him. When he saw Bian Ling, he changed his expression and said, "He is a man of etiquette."
Arrogance cannot be allowed to grow excessive, desires cannot be followed, ambitions cannot be satisfied, and happiness cannot be taken to the extreme.
The minister is the upper host, the minister is the successor host, and the scholar is the successor host. The king and his personal etiquette for guests, the guests meet privately, meet privately, offer food and drink, return the jade and jade, give bribes, and feast, so as to show the righteousness between the guests and the king and the ministers.
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