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Xun Ciming met Yuan Lang of Runan and asked about the people of Yingchuan. Ciming mentioned his brothers first. Lang laughed and said, "Can a scholar be selected only because of his kinship?" Ciming said, "You are questioning me, what scripture are you basing your opinion on?" Lang said, "I was just asking about the country's scholars, but you mentioned my brothers, so I blame them." Ciming said, "In the past, Qi Xi recommended people from within the country without missing their sons, and recommended people from outside the country without missing their enemies, which was considered to be very fair. The poem of King Wen of Gongdan did not discuss the virtues of Yao and Shun, but praised Wen and Wu, which is the meaning of loving one's relatives. The meaning of the Spring and Autumn Annals is to include one's country within and exclude other countries. Moreover, if one does not love one's relatives but loves others, is it not against virtue?"
Sun Xinggong and Xu Xuandu were both famous figures of the time. Some people respect Xu's noble sentiments and despise his grandson's evil conduct; some people love his grandson's talent and eloquence and have no interest in Xu.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
Wang Gongyuan married the daughter of Zhuge Dan. After they entered the room and started talking, the king said to the woman, "You look humble, not like Gong Xiu at all!" The woman said, "A man cannot imitate Yan Yun, but let a woman compare herself to Ying Jie!"
Huannan County. After defeating Yin in Jingzhou, he captured about ten Yin generals and subordinates, including advisor Luo Qisheng. Huan had always treated Qisheng well, and when he was about to kill him, he sent someone to tell him, "If you thank me, I will pardon your crime." Qisheng replied, "I was an official in Jingzhou of the Yin Dynasty. Now Jingzhou people are in exile, and their life or death is uncertain. How can I thank Duke Huan?" After Qisheng left the market, Huan sent someone to ask him what he wanted to say. He replied, "In the past, King Wen of Jin killed Ji Kang, and Ji Shao was a loyal minister of Jin. I beg you to give me one of your brothers to support my elderly mother." Huan also pardoned him as he was told. Huan Xian once gave a lamb fur coat to Qi Sheng's mother, Hu. Hu was in Yuzhang at the time. When Qi Sheng came to ask about it, Huan Xian burned the fur coat that day.
Someone asked the military governor, "How good is Yin Hao in his talks?" He replied, "I can't beat others, but I can at least win the hearts of the people."
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