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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Wang Changshi said to Jiang Daoqun: "People can have what they should have, but they don't have to have it; people can have what they should not have, but I must not have it."
Xie Kun was the prefect of Yuzhang, and he was sent down to Shitou from the general's rank. Dun said to Kun, "I can no longer do anything virtuous." Kun said, "Why? From now on, I will just die and leave!" Dun again claimed illness and did not attend court. Kun told Dun, "Recently, although your actions are intended to preserve the country, your true intentions are not understood within the four seas. If you can attend court with the emperor, the ministers will be relieved and all things will be convinced. Rely on the people's support and follow their will, and retreat to serve the emperor. In this way, your achievements will be comparable to those of Yi Kuang, and your name will be passed down for thousands of years." People at that time regarded it as a famous saying.
Wang Dongting's conversation with Xiaobo gradually became different. Xiao Bo said to Dong Ting: "You are unpredictable!" He replied: "Wang Ling argued in the court, Chen Ping remained silent, but I only want to know how to win in the end."
People at that time said of Ruan Sikuang: "He is not as strong as Youjun in spirit, not as elegant as Zhenchang, not as graceful as Zhongzu, not as thoughtful as Yuanyuan, but he has the beauty of all of them."
Confucius said, "When the princes marry the emperor, they must announce it to the ancestors and offer sacrifices to the gods. They wear the crown and go out to attend the court, and order the priest to announce it to the gods, the ancestral temples, the mountains and rivers. Then they order the five officials of the state to go out and leave on the road. The announcement should be made every five days. If it is more than that, it is not polite. Whenever an announcement is made, sacrificial offerings should be used. The return is the same. When the princes meet, they must announce it to the gods, and wear court clothes and go out to attend the court. Order the priests to report to the mountains and rivers passing by the five temples. Also order the five officials of the state to go out on the road. On the way back, they must personally report to the ancestors. Then order the priests to report to what has been reported before, and then listen to the court and enter.
The son of a good blacksmith must learn to make fur coats; the son of a good archer must learn to make winnowing baskets; the beginner must do the opposite, with the chariot in front of the horse. A gentleman who observes these three things can be determined to study.
Guan Ning and Hua Xin were weeding in the garden together when they saw a piece of gold on the ground. Guan swung his hoe and it looked like a piece of tile or stone, but Hua picked it up and threw it away. They once sat together reading, and someone passed by in a carriage and official robes. Ning continued reading as usual, but Xin put down his book and went out to look. Ning cut the mat and sat on the other side, saying, "You are not my friend."
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