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When Guo Zhaozi's mother died, he asked Zi Zhang, "At the funeral and tomb, what positions should men and women take?" Zi Zhang said, "At the funeral of Si Tu Jingzi, Confucius was the prime minister, and men faced west and women faced east." He said, "Ah! No." He said, "At my funeral, Si was involved. You are responsible for it, the guests are guests, the host is the host--women and men all face west."
It is better to not be in decline than to be inappropriate. One should not sit at the side in mourning, and one should not serve in service for great achievements.
When Jin Jianwen was the governor of an army, the dust on the bed he sat on was so thick that he could not even hear the dust brushed away. He could see the footprints of a rat and thought it was a good thing. A military officer saw a rat walking in broad daylight and ordered it to be killed with a board in his hand. The governor was unhappy with this and his men rose up in protest. The teacher said: "I cannot forget the fact that I was harmed by rats. Now, is it wrong to use rats to harm people?"
Xie's cavalry was in trouble in Anxi, and Lin Daoren went to talk to him, but Xie left at dusk. Someone saw him on the road and asked, "Where are you from?" He replied, "I came out today after a conversation with Xie Xiaoju."
Guan Ning and Hua Xin were weeding in the garden together when they saw a piece of gold on the ground. Guan swung his hoe and it looked like a piece of tile or stone, but Hua picked it up and threw it away. They once sat together reading, and someone passed by in a carriage and official robes. Ning continued reading as usual, but Xin put down his book and went out to look. Ning cut the mat and sat on the other side, saying, "You are not my friend."
Emperor Xiaowu held a meeting in the West Hall, and Fu Tao sat down in advance. When he got off the car, he called his son and said to him, "In a gathering of hundreds of people, before sitting down, he asked, 'Where is Fu Tao? Is he here?' This is why it is not easy to answer. How is it to be a father like this?"
Wang Changshi said to Jiang Daoqun: "People can have what they should have, but they don't have to have it; people can have what they should not have, but I must not have it."
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
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