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The dukes have wives, wives, wives, and concubines. The lady calls herself the old woman to the emperor; she calls herself the widowed young monarch to the princes; she calls herself the little boy to her monarch. From the wives below, they call themselves the maid. The son calls himself the name to his parents.
When the duke mourns, the leaders of all high-ranking officials should use sticks.
Wang Ziyou served as a cavalry officer under Huan. Huan asked, "What is your department?" He replied, "I don't know. I see horses coming from time to time. I think I am in the horse department." Huan asked again, "How many horses do you have?" He replied, "If I don't ask about the horses, how can I know the number?" Huan asked again, "How many horses are dead?" He replied, "If I don't know the living, how can I know the dead?"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The meaning of the crown: The crown is made of black cloth. In ancient times, the cloth was black, and the Qi people wore it. As for its tassel, Confucius said: "I have never heard of it. It is better to wear it in a worn-out state." The son wears the crown on the east side to show his generation. The offering in the guest position is to add to the success. The three additions are more respected, which means his aspirations. The crown and the name are to respect the name. The appearance of the crown is the way of Zhou. The Zhangfu is the way of Yin. No pursuit is the way of the Xiahou clan. Zhou Bian, Yin Bian, Xia Shou. The three kings shared the leather cap and white pile. There is no ceremony for the crown of the senior officials, but there is a ceremony for their wedding. In ancient times, people were promoted to the rank of nobility after the age of fifty, so why did the crown ceremony of the senior officials exist? The crown ceremony of the princes was not invented until the end of the Xia Dynasty. The first son of the emperor is a scholar. There is no one in the world who is noble at birth. To establish the princes in succession is to show the virtue. To give people official titles is to kill virtue. To give posthumous titles after death is the present; in ancient times, there was no title when alive and no posthumous title when dead. What is respected in ritual is to respect its meaning. If it loses its meaning, it is the job of the historian to explain its number. Therefore, the number can be explained, but its meaning is difficult to know. Knowing its meaning and respecting it is the way for the emperor to rule the world.
Zisi said: "After three days of mourning, the coffin should be buried. Everything attached to the body must be sincere and trustworthy, and there should be no regrets. After three months, the coffin should be buried. Everything attached to the coffin must be sincere and trustworthy, and there should be no regrets. Three years of mourning is the limit, and once a person dies, he will not forget it. Therefore, a gentleman has a lifetime of worries, but no worries of one day. Therefore, he does not rejoice on the anniversary of his death."
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
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