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When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.
Confucius said: "How can Zang Wenzhong know the rituals! Xia Fu Fuqi was against the sacrifice, but he did not stop. Burning firewood in the ao, the ao is the sacrifice of old women, with basins and bottles. Rituals are like the body. If the body is not complete, the gentleman says it is not a man. If it is not properly set, it is still incomplete."
When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
Emperor Wu once visited King Wuzi's house, and King Wuzi provided him with food and used colored glass utensils. There were more than a hundred maids, all wearing silk and satin, and holding food and drink with their hands. The stewed pork is fat and delicious, different from other dishes. The emperor was surprised and asked about it, and the answer was: "Drinking human milk from pigs." The emperor was very upset and left before finishing his meal. Wang and Shi are not aware of this work.
Duke Dao's mother died, and Duke Ai wore mourning clothes. Youruo said, "Is it proper to wear mourning clothes for a concubine?" The Duke said, "How can I do this? The people of Lu married me." Ji Zigao buried his wife and broke into other people's crops. He reported to the emperor, "Please give me a Geng." Zigao said, "Mengshi did not blame me for this, and my friends did not abandon me for this. They thought I was the head of the town. If I buy a way to bury the deceased, it will be difficult for the future to succeed me." For those who have not yet received official salary: if the king gives them gifts, they call them offerings, and if they send them to the king, they call them the widowed king; if they disobey the king and the king dies, they will not mourn for him. The corpse is set up with a few mats. When the crying is over, the taboo is used. When the living affairs are over, the ghost affairs begin to end. When the crying is over, the prime minister holds a wooden bell and orders the palace, "Abandon the old and avoid the new." From the bedroom door to the warehouse door. Two names are not tabooed. The mother of the master is named Zhengzai; if it is Zai, it is not Zheng, and if it is Zheng, it is not Zai. When the army is worried, they cry outside the warehouse door in plain clothes, and do not carry a bag when they go to the carriage. If the room of their ancestors is burned, they cry for three days. Therefore, it is said: "When a new palace is on fire, one should also cry for three days."
A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
Chengren had a brother who died but did not wear mourning clothes. When he heard that Zigao would be the chief minister of Chengren, he wore mourning clothes. Chengren said, "Silkworms weave and crabs have ribs, fan weaves and cicadas have ribbons. When his brother died, Zigao wore mourning clothes."
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