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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xie Zhonglang said: "Wang Xiuzai's joyful nature comes from his family tradition."
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
Yu Gong created Zhou Boren. Bo Ren said: "Why are you so happy that you suddenly gain weight?" Yu said: "Why are you so worried that you suddenly lose weight?" Bo Ren said: "I have nothing to worry about. It's just that the pure and clean are coming and the filth is going away."
When a lord is alive, he does not wear jade. He should tie the jade with his left hand and set it with his right hand. When he is at home, he should set it. When he is in the morning, he should tie the jade with his right hand and wear the jade with his right hand. He must wear jade with his belt, except when he is at a funeral. Wearing jade has teeth; a gentleman does not take off jade without reason, and a gentleman compares virtue to jade. The emperor wears white jade and a black ribbon, dukes wear mountain black jade and a red ribbon, officials wear water blue jade and a pure ribbon, the crown prince wears Yu jade and a red ribbon, and scholars wear 瓀玟 and a 缊 ribbon. Confucius wears an elephant ring five inches long and a red ribbon.
Wang Zijing went from Kuaiji to Wu and heard that Gu Pijiang had a famous garden. I didn't recognize the host at first, so I went straight to his house, where I saw Gu gathering his guests and friends for a drunken feast. When the king finished his travels, he gave orders about his likes and dislikes as if no one was around. Gu was furious and said, "To be arrogant to the master is not polite; to be arrogant to others because of one's status is not the right way. If one loses these two, he is not worthy of being a human being and is a fool!" He then drove his attendants out of the door. The king turned around alone in the carriage, looked left and right, but saw no one coming. Then he ordered the chopsticks to be sent out the door, looking disdainful.
Liu Jian served as the deputy governor of Huan Xuanwu, and later as a military officer of the Eastern Cao. He was quite unpopular because of his uprightness. I have listened to the record and was speechless. Xuanwu asked: "Why doesn't Liu Dongcao agree?" He replied: "It cannot be used." Xuanwu did not look surprised.
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