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Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zixia said: "The five ultimates have been heard, and I dare to ask what the three nothings are?" Confucius said: "Music without sound, ritual without body, mourning without clothes, this is called the three nothings. "Zixia said: "I have heard the three "nothings" briefly. May I ask which poem is closest to them?" Confucius said: "'The life of the morning and the evening is to be forgiven and secret' is the music without sound. 'The dignity and manners are so great that they cannot be chosen' is the etiquette without form. 'When the people are in mourning, they crawl to save them' is the mourning without clothes."
King Wen of Jin praised Ruan Sizong as extremely cautious. Whenever he spoke to him, his words were profound and far-reaching, and he never praised or criticized anyone.
When Xiao Yu was in Jingzhou, the Duke held a large meeting and asked his officials, "How would I like to be like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei?" No one answered. The Chief Secretary Jiang Fei said, "I would like you to be like Emperor Huan and Emperor Wen, but not like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei."
He Qiao was favored by Emperor Wu, and he said to Qiao: "The Crown Prince seems to have made progress recently. You can go and see him." He also asked, "How is he?" The answer was: "The Crown Prince is as holy as before."
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