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I really don't want to be a dad

The Undertaker

The king will not kill cattle without reason, the officials will not kill sheep without reason, and the scholars will not kill dogs or pigs without reason. A gentleman stays away from the kitchen, and does not step on anything that has blood and flesh. If it does not rain in August, the king will not rise. If the year is not auspicious, the king will wear cloth and fold his head, and will not rent the gates and bridges. The mountains and lakes will be built but no taxes will be levied. If there is no land construction, the officials will not build carriages and horses. The soothsayer determines the tortoise shell, the historian determines the inkstone, and the king determines the body. The king's chariot is made of lamb and tiger; the officials' chariots are made of deer and leopard; the court chariots are made of deer and leopard. The gentleman always lives in front of the door and sleeps in the east. If there is a strong wind, thunder and heavy rain, he must change his residence, even at night, he must rise, dress and sit. Wash his hands five times a day, bathe with millet and wash his head with sorghum, comb his hair with a cypress comb, and comb his hair with an ivory comb. He offers food and food, and then the workers start to sing. When bathing, use two towels, the upper one is gauze and the lower one is silk. Take out the scoop, step on the Kuai mat, use the soup, step on the cattail mat, wear cloth to light the body, and then drink. When going to the official office, stay overnight and take precautions, sleep outside, bathe, the historian presents the ivory tablet, writes and thinks about the order; after dressing, practice the appearance and observe the jade sound, then go out, bow to the private court, and shine, and get on the car. The emperor is upright, which is upright in the world. The princes are bent in front and straight in the back, giving way to the emperor. The officials are bent in front and back, giving way to everything.

Yu Lian Han Xing

Zi Zhang asked: "The Book of Documents says: 'Emperor Gaozong did not speak for three years, and he was happy when he spoke.' Is it true?" Zhongni said: "Why is it not true? In ancient times, when the emperor died, the crown prince listened to the prime minister for three years."

Addicted to petting: Uncle, come here

When Zhang Wuxing was eight years old, he was missing teeth. The wise knew that this was not normal, so they joked with him, "Why is there a dog hole in your mouth?" Zhang replied, "It is for you to go in and out through it!"

Falling in love with a gangster girl

Yu Gong created Zhou Boren. Bo Ren said: "Why are you so happy that you suddenly gain weight?" Yu said: "Why are you so worried that you suddenly lose weight?" Bo Ren said: "I have nothing to worry about. It's just that the pure and clean are coming and the filth is going away."

Deep in the mansion

There were many famous scholars in Sima Taifu's mansion, most of whom were outstanding at the time. Yu Wenkang said: "Seeing Zisong among them, he always thinks he is a god."