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When consulting an elder, one must hold a stick and follow his lead. It is impolite to answer an elder's question without declining.
When Taiji Hall was first completed, Wang Zijing was the chief secretary of Lord Xie. Xie sent a plate to Wang to have him write on it. The king looked dissatisfied and said to Xin, "You can throw the chopsticks outside the door." Later, Xie saw the king and said, "What about hanging the inscription in the upper hall? In the past, people like Wei Dan in the Wei Dynasty also wrote it themselves." The king said, "That's why the Wei Dynasty did not last long." Xie thought it was a famous saying.
If there is a minister who is completely incompetent and has no other skills, and whose heart is at ease, how can he tolerate it? If someone has skills, he will treat them as if they were his own; if someone is a wise man, he will like them in his heart, as if they were coming out of his mouth. If he can really tolerate them, he can protect his descendants and the people, and it is still beneficial! If someone has skills, he will be jealous and hate them; if someone is a wise man, he will oppose them and make them unacceptable: If he can really not tolerate them, he will not be able to protect his descendants and the people, and it is also dangerous! "Only benevolent people can exile them and drive them to the four barbarians, and not let them live with China. This means that only benevolent people can love people and hate people. Seeing the virtuous but not being able to promote them, promoting them but not being able to lead them, is fate; seeing the evil but not being able to retreat, retreating but not being able to stay away, is a mistake. To like what people hate and to hate what people like is to go against people's nature, and the harm will surely come to oneself. Therefore, a gentleman has a great way, and he must be loyal and faithful to gain it, and arrogant and complacent to lose it.
A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
A gentleman acts according to his position and does not want to go beyond it. If you are rich and noble, behave like a rich and noble person; if you are poor and humble, behave like a poor and humble person; if you are a barbarian, behave like a barbarian; if you are in trouble, behave like a barbarian. A gentleman is content with everything he does. If he is in a high position, he will not bully those below him; if he is in a low position, he will not rely on those above him; if he is upright and does not seek help from others, he will not have any complaints. He will not blame the heaven above him, nor will he blame others below him. Therefore, a gentleman lives in ease and waits for his fate. A villain takes risks and hopes for luck. Confucius said, "Shooting is like a gentleman. If he misses the target, he should look for the reason in himself."
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
When Wei Jie first crossed the Yangtze River, he met General Wang. Because he was sitting at night, the general ordered Xie Youyu. When Jie saw Xie, he was so pleased that he no longer paid any attention to the king, and they talked in silence until dawn. The king was not able to enjoy the night. Jie was always weak and was always forbidden by his mother. That evening, he suddenly became seriously ill and never got up again.
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