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Etiquette begins with respect for husband and wife, and distinguishing the inner and outer parts of the palace. Men live outside, women live inside, and the palace is deep and the gates are strong, with gatekeepers guarding it. Men do not enter, and women do not leave. Men and women do not use the same shackles, dare not hang on the husband's shackles, dare not hide in the husband's box, and dare not bathe together. When the husband is not at home, the pillow, box, mat, and quilt are hidden. The young serve the elder, the humble serve the noble, and everyone is the same. The etiquette of husband and wife only lasts until the age of seventy, and they share the same shackles. Therefore, even if the concubine is old, she must have sex with him for five days before she reaches fifty. The one who is about to give birth to a child, washes his head and washes his clothes carefully, combs his hair, puts on a hairpin, brushes his hair, and wears a collar, tassels, and sandals. Even maids and concubines must dress and eat after the elders. If the wife is not at home, the concubine dare not give birth to a child at night.

Yanling Jizi went to Qi, and on his way back, his eldest son died and was buried between Yingbo. Confucius said, "Yanling Jizi is a person in Wu who is accustomed to etiquette." He went to see his burial. The pit was not deep enough to reach the spring, and he was buried in the seasonal clothes. After the burial, the seal was sealed, and the pit was covered with wide wheels, so that it was high enough to hide. After the enthronement, he exposed his left arm and returned his right arm to the enthronement and cried three times, saying: "Bone flesh and blood return to the earth, it is destiny. As for the soul and spirit, everything will return, everything will return." Then he left. Confucius said: "Yanling Jizi's understanding of etiquette is in accordance with it!"

When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.




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更新时间:2025-03-19

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