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Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."
Xie Gong said: "Liu Yin's words are very careful and detailed."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Emperor Wen once ordered the King of Dong'e to compose a poem within seven steps. If he failed, he would be punished. He immediately composed a poem: "Cook the beans and make soup, strain the beans to make juice. The firewood is burning under the pot, and the beans are crying in the pot. We are from the same root, why are we so eager to harm each other?" The emperor looked deeply ashamed.
Wang Situ’s wife, the daughter of Zhong, is the great-granddaughter of Taifu. She is also a talented and virtuous woman. Zhong and Hao were concubines of the Tang Dynasty, and they were close to each other. Zhong does not overshadow Hao because of his nobleness, and Hao does not overshadow Zhong because of his humbleness. In the Donghai family, it is Mrs. Hao’s method. In the Jingling family, the ceremony of Mrs. Fan Zhong.
When Emperor Yuan met Sikong He for the first time, he talked about the current affairs of Wu and asked, "Who is the one who was burned and sawed off by Sun Hao?" Sikong was unable to answer, and Emperor Yuan recalled, "It was He Shao." Sikong shed tears and said, "My father suffered injustice and was deeply hurt. I have no way to respond to the imperial edict." Emperor Yuan felt ashamed and did not go out for three days.
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