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Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Yu Xiaofu was the Minister of the Imperial Secretariat of Emperor Wu of Han. The emperor asked him calmly, "I have never heard of you making any offerings while you were my retainer." Yu's home was in Fuchun, near the sea. He told the emperor that he was looking forward to his spirit. He replied, "The weather is still warm. Fish and shrimps (Yu Qiang) cannot be brought in yet. I will make an offering to you soon." The emperor clapped his hands and laughed.
Youzi asked Zengzi: "Have you asked about funerals, Master?" He said: "I have heard that funerals want to get poor quickly, and death wants to decay quickly." Youzi said: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen heard it from the Master." Youzi said again: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen and Ziyou heard it." Youzi said: "Yes, then the Master said it for a reason." Zengzi told Ziyou this. Ziyou said, "How wonderful! Youzi's words are similar to yours. Once upon a time, when the Master was living in Song, he saw Sima Huan making a stone coffin for himself, which took three years to complete. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to decay quickly than to die.' The desire to decay quickly was what Sima Huan said. When Nangong Jingshu returned, he would bring treasures with him to the court. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to become poor quickly than to be buried.' The desire to become poor quickly was what Jingshu said." Zengzi told him what Ziyou said. When Youzi was talking to Youzi, Youzi said, "Yes, I have always said that this is not what the Master said." Zengzi said, "How do you know this?" Youzi said, "The Master made a four-inch coffin and a five-inch outer coffin in Zhongdu, so he knew that he did not want to decay quickly. In the past, when the Master lost the position of Sikou of Lu and was about to go to Jing, he first asked Zixia and then Ran You, so he knew that he did not want to become poor quickly."
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
After Wang Chen's death, the Western Town was still unsettled and all the nobles in the court had high hopes. At that time, Yin Zhongkan was under Fang Yue's tutelage. Although he held an important position, his status and reputation were low, and people did not approve of him. Jin Xiaowu wanted to promote his close associates, so he made Yin Jingzhou. The matter was settled, but the edict had not been issued. Wang Xun asked Yin, “Why hasn’t anyone dealt with Shaanxi yet?” Yin replied, “Someone has already done it.” Wang Li asked the ministers, and they all said “No.” The king thought that he must have the talent and the position, so he asked again, "Is it not me?" Yin said, "It seems not." That night the king ordered Yin to be employed. The king said to his confidants, "How can a eunuch be entrusted with such a task? Zhongkan's action will be the beginning of the country's demise."
When Duke Mu's mother died, he sent someone to ask Zengzi, "What should I do?" Zengzi replied, "Shen heard from Shen's father that the sorrow of weeping, the feeling of beheading in Qi, and the food of porridge all reached the emperor. The cloth curtain is Wei; the gauze curtain is Lu." Duke Xian of Jin was about to kill his crown prince Shensheng. Prince Chong'er said to him, "Did you tell the duke about your intention?" The crown prince said, "No, you are saying that I want to kill you, is there a country without a father in the world? How can I do that?" He sent someone to say goodbye to Hu Tu, saying, "Shensheng is guilty of not thinking about Bo's words, and he is going to die. Shensheng dare not love his death. However, my king is old, his son is young, and the country is in trouble. Bo's family does not come out and plot against my king. If Bo's family comes out and plots against my king, Shensheng will accept the gift and die." He bowed twice and died. He was called "Gong Crown Prince".
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