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Arrogance cannot be allowed to grow excessive, desires cannot be followed, ambitions cannot be satisfied, and happiness cannot be taken to the extreme.
Wang Rong's father Hun had a good reputation and served as the governor of Liangzhou. After Hun died, the nine counties he had ruled over, because of his loyalty and kindness, came together to offer gifts worth several million yuan, but the Rong people refused to accept any of them.
Yan Ding was good at mourning: when he died, he was anxious as if he wanted to find it but couldn't get it; when he was buried, he looked around as if he wanted to follow but couldn't reach it; after the burial, he sighed as if he couldn't reach it and stopped.
If the hemp has roots, it is changed to three years of hemp. After the mourning, if the hemp is cut off, it is worn when it is exempted; after the exemption, the mourning is removed. Whenever it is possible to wear a mourning, it must be worn; after the mourning, it is removed.
The host does not personally accept it. When receiving, he stands up, and when giving, he does not sit down. There are those who are upright in nature. When entering and saying goodbye, he says: "I say goodbye". When sitting, he says: "It's OK". There is only one person who puts up his shoes and puts on his shoes in the house. If there is an elder present, it is not OK. When asking about taste, he says: "Do you eat so and so?" When asking about the art of Taoism, he says: "Are you accustomed to so and so?" "Are you good at so and so?" Do not doubt yourself, do not measure the tools of the people, do not be reluctant to the big family, and do not criticize the heavy tools. Sweeping is called sweeping, and sweeping in front of the mat is called fighting; the mat is not to be beaten with a mane. Hold the dustpan and hold the hair. Do not ask twice. When asking about divination, he says: "Is it righteousness? Is it will?" If it is righteous, you can ask, but if it is will, you can't.
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
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