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When the dukes met before the appointed time, it was called "yu", and when they met in the land, it was called "hui". When the dukes sent officials to ask the dukes, it was called "pin", when they made promises, it was called "shi", and when they attended the sacrifice, it was called "meng".
Do not pull the coming, do not report the past, do not blaspheme the gods, do not follow the wrong, do not predict the unknown. Scholars rely on virtue and enjoy art; workers rely on law and enjoy persuasion. Do not criticize clothes and tools, do not be pedantic of words. The beauty of words is solemn and majestic; the beauty of the court is full of people; the beauty of sacrifice is orderly and majestic; the beauty of carriages and horses is not timid; the beauty of phoenixes is solemn and peaceful. Ask the king's sons, the elder one says: "He can follow the affairs of the state"; the younger one says: "He can control" or "He can't control". When asked about the age of a senior official's son, if he is older, he will say, "He can follow the music of the musicians"; if he is younger, he will say, "He can be correct in the music of the musicians" but he cannot be correct in the music of the musicians". When asked about the age of a scholar's son, if he is older, he will say, "He can plough the fields"; if he is younger, he will say, "He can carry firewood" but he cannot carry firewood. He cannot walk when holding a jade or tortoise shell, nor when he is in the hall or on the city wall. He cannot walk in a military carriage; the intermediary cannot bow.
Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
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