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When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Wang and Liu always disrespected Lord Cai. The two men once went to Cai and talked for a long time. Then they asked Cai, "How do you think you compare to Yi Fu?" Cai replied, "I am not as good as Yi Fu." Wang and Liu looked at each other and laughed, saying, "How are you not as good as him?" Cai replied, "Yi Fu is not as good as you!"
At the funeral of Sikou Huizi, Ziyou prepared hemp mourning clothes and hemp sash for him. Wen Zi declined, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "It is the rite." Wen Zi retreated and cried again. Ziyou hurried to the seats of the ministers. Wen Zi declined again, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "I insist on asking." Wen Zi retreated, helped Shi Zi to stand facing south, and said, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you not return to your position?" Ziyou hurried to the guest seat. At the funeral of General Wenzi, after the mourning period was over, the people of Yue came to offer their condolences. The host wore a deep robe and a white cap, waited in the temple, weeping. Ziyou looked at him and said, "General Wen's son is almost a commoner! He is a man of honor who died according to the etiquette, and his actions are in the right place."
The Master said, “The king’s words are like silk, and the output is like a line; the king’s words are like a line, and the output is like a thread. Therefore, the great man does not advocate idle talk. It can be said, but not carried out. A gentleman does not speak; if it is possible to do something, but it is not possible to say it, a gentleman does not do it. Then the people's words will not endanger their actions, and their actions will not endanger their words. The Book of Songs says: "Be prudent and cautious in your behavior, and do not violate etiquette. '" Confucius said: "A gentleman guides people with words and restrains people with actions. Therefore, when speaking, one must consider the end, and when doing things, one must examine the consequences; then the people will be cautious in their words and cautious in their actions. The Book of Songs says: "Be cautious in your words, and respect your dignity. 'The Great Ode says: "The King Wen was solemn and respectful in his behavior. '" Confucius said: "The one who governs the people should not wear two different clothes, and should be calm and regular, so as to unify his people, and then the people's morality will be unified. The Book of Songs says: "Those people in the capital have yellow fox furs, their appearance does not change, their words are orderly, and their actions are Zhou, which is what all the people look forward to. '" Confucius said: "If you can be seen by the superiors and understood, and can be explained and understood by the subordinates, then the ruler will not doubt his ministers, and the ministers will not be confused by their rulers. Yin Ji said: ‘Only Yin Gong and
Sun Zijing took off her wife's mourning clothes and composed a poem to show Wang Wuzi. Wang said: "I don't know that literature is born from emotion and emotion is born from literature. Reading this makes me sad and increases the love between husband and wife."
When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
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