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The wise man treats others with familiarity and respect, and fears and loves them. Love something and you will know its evil; hate something and you will know its good. Accumulate and be able to disperse, be at peace and be able to move. When faced with wealth, do not be careless in taking it; when faced with danger, do not be careless in avoiding it. Don't seek to win, don't seek to get more points. When in doubt, do not question; be honest and do not boast.
The body, offerings and food all have different levels, so as to distinguish the noble from the humble.
If it is abolished, there will be chaos. Therefore, if the ritual of marriage is abolished, the relationship between husband and wife will be difficult, and there will be many crimes of adultery and perversion. If the ritual of drinking in the village is abolished, the order of seniority will be lost, and there will be many cases of fighting. If the ritual of funeral and sacrifice is abolished, the grace of ministers will be weak, and there will be many people who forget their lives. If the ritual of marriage is abolished, the position of the monarch and the minister will be lost, the princes will do evil, and the failure of rebellion and aggression will arise.
When Yu Zisong finished writing a fu, his follower Wenkang saw it and asked, "If there is intention, then it is not the end of fu; if there is no intention, then what is there to write about?" He replied, "It is somewhere between intention and no intention."
Zixia said: "The parents of the people have been heard, and I dare to ask what the 'five ultimates' are?" Confucius said: "Where the will reaches, poetry also reaches. Where poetry reaches, ritual also reaches. Where ritual reaches, music also reaches. Where music reaches, sorrow also reaches. Sorrow and joy are born from each other. Therefore, if you look at it with your eyes straight, you can't see it; if you listen to it with your ears attentively, you can't hear it; the will fills the heaven and the earth, this is called the five ultimates. ”
Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
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