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Pei Xia was at Zhou Fu's place, and Fu appointed him as the host. Xia played chess with others, and Fu served wine to Sima. Xia Zheng played and drank from time to time. Sima was angry and dragged Xia to the ground. Xia returned to his seat, behaving as usual, with no change in expression, and playing as usual. Wang Yifu asked Xia, "Why did your complexion remain the same at that time?" Xia replied, "It was simply because it was dark."
Xu Xuandu hid in a secluded cave in the south of Yongxing, and often received gifts from princes from all directions. Someone said to Xu: "I have heard that the man from Jishan is not like that!" Xu said: "The baskets and boxes are just a few straw, so they should be lighter than the treasures in the world!"
Using jade and jade scepters to betroth is to attach importance to etiquette; returning jade and jade scepters after the betrothal is the meaning of ignoring money and valuing etiquette. The princes are strict with each other to despise money and value etiquette, so the people will be polite. When the lord entertains guests, he will go in and out three times, feed the guests in the house, and the five kinds of meat will be displayed inside. Thirty carts of rice, thirty carts of grain, and hay and firewood are all displayed outside. Five pairs of birds are mounted every day, and all the animals have food and meat. One meal is twice a meal, and there are countless gifts at banquets and occasions, so the etiquette is heavy. Ancient people could not use money in this way, but those who used money so generously said that they were very polite. If you follow the rites, the ruler and his subjects will not bully each other, and the subjects will not invade each other. Therefore, the emperor made it, and the princes should follow it.
What is a cane? It is a title. On the third day, a son is given a cane, on the fifth day, a senior official is given a cane, and on the seventh day, a scholar is given a cane. Some say it is used to carry the main load; some say it is used to assist the sick. Women and children do not use a cane, and they cannot be sick. All officials and all things are ready. Those who do things without speaking are helped up; those who do things after speaking are helped up; those who do things themselves before walking have dirty faces. Bald people do not wear their hair, hunchbacks do not bare their shoulders, and lame people do not dance. The old and the sick do not stop drinking and eating meat. All these eight are controlled by power.
Confucians have a palace of one acre, a room with round walls, a door with bamboo, a thatched door and a window with urns; they change their clothes and go out, and eat every day. They dare not doubt the emperor's answer, and dare not flatter the emperor's answer. They are like this in their official career.
In all sacrifices, there are those that should be abolished and no one dares to perform them, and there are those that should be performed and no one dares to abolish them. Offering sacrifices that are not what they should be is called lewd sacrifices. Lewd sacrifices bring no blessings. The emperor offers sacrificed cattle, the princes offer fat cattle, the officials offer oxen, and the scholars offer sheep and pigs. If the sons of the branches do not offer sacrifices, the sons of the clan must be informed of the sacrifices.
The court talks about dogs and horses. If you stop the court and look back, there will be no unusual events, but there will be unusual concerns. Therefore, if you stop the court and look back, the gentleman calls it firm.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. 鈥 He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
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