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Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
Liu Gonggan was punished for being disrespectful. Emperor Wen asked him, "Why are you not careful in following the rules?" Zhen replied, "I am indeed mediocre and incompetent, but it is also because Your Majesty has not been thorough in grasping the main points."
During the reign of Emperor Yuan, the Chief Justice Zhang Kai lived in Xiaoshi and built a private gate that closed in the morning and opened in the evening. The small people were worried about this and went to the county government to file a complaint, but their case was not heard. They then went to the county court to file a complaint, but still no verdict was made. When he heard that Sikong He had left, he went to Pogang and went to He to file a complaint. He said, "I have been conscripted as a ritual official and this matter has nothing to do with me." The young men kowtowed and said, "If the governor is not treated well again, we will have nowhere to complain." He said nothing and ordered them to leave and to report to Zhang Tingwei when they saw him. When Zhang heard this, he immediately demolished the gate and went to Fangshan to greet him. He came out to see him and said, "There is no need to see Guan, but I have a relationship with you, so I cherish it." Zhang thanked him ashamedly and said, "I didn't know that I was like this at the beginning, and I was ruined long ago."
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
Zeng Zi asked: "When the king leaves the border, he should be guarded for three years and follow the coffin. When the king dies, what should he do when he enters the palace?" Confucius said: "In the common funeral, the son wears hemp, a hat and a sash, a thin mourning, a thin coat, and a stick. Enter from the gate and ascend from the west steps. If it is a small burial, the son takes off his clothes and follows the coffin, enters from the door and ascends from the east steps. The king, the officials and the scholars are the same." Zeng Zi asked: "After the king's funeral is held, what should he do when he hears about the death of his parents?" Confucius said: "Just do it. After the seal is sealed and he returns, he will not wait for you." Zeng Zi asked: "After the parents' funeral is held, when he arrives on the road and hears about the death of the king, what should he do?" Confucius said: "Just do it. After the enfeoffment, he changed his clothes and went.
The etiquette of being a minister: do not make public remonstrances. If you remonstrate three times and he does not listen, then flee.
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