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The one who makes an adult will be required to perform the etiquette of adulthood. The one who requires the etiquette of adulthood will be required to perform the etiquette of being a son, a younger brother, a minister, and a younger person. If the four behaviors are performed on people, can the etiquette not be important?
The Master said: "The way of a gentleman is to open up the streets and the people are what the streets lack. "If a great man is a censor, the people will still go beyond him. Therefore, a gentleman should use rites to censor virtue, punish punishments to censor extravagance, and command to censor desire.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Duke Dao's mother died, and Duke Ai wore mourning clothes. Youruo said, "Is it proper to wear mourning clothes for a concubine?" The Duke said, "How can I do this? The people of Lu married me." Ji Zigao buried his wife and broke into other people's crops. He reported to the emperor, "Please give me a Geng." Zigao said, "Mengshi did not blame me for this, and my friends did not abandon me for this. They thought I was the head of the town. If I buy a way to bury the deceased, it will be difficult for the future to succeed me." For those who have not yet received official salary: if the king gives them gifts, they call them offerings, and if they send them to the king, they call them the widowed king; if they disobey the king and the king dies, they will not mourn for him. The corpse is set up with a few mats. When the crying is over, the taboo is used. When the living affairs are over, the ghost affairs begin to end. When the crying is over, the prime minister holds a wooden bell and orders the palace, "Abandon the old and avoid the new." From the bedroom door to the warehouse door. Two names are not tabooed. The mother of the master is named Zhengzai; if it is Zai, it is not Zheng, and if it is Zheng, it is not Zai. When the army is worried, they cry outside the warehouse door in plain clothes, and do not carry a bag when they go to the carriage. If the room of their ancestors is burned, they cry for three days. Therefore, it is said: "When a new palace is on fire, one should also cry for three days."
For a man who is a son, the three gifts are not as great as a carriage and horses. Therefore, his neighbors praised him for his filial piety, his brothers and relatives praised him for his kindness, his colleagues praised him for his brotherly love, his friends praised him for his benevolence, and his acquaintances praised him for his trustworthiness. Seeing my father’s insistence, I dare not advance unless I am told to, I dare not retreat unless I am told to, and I dare not answer unless I am asked. This is the behavior of a filial son.
When Wang Zijing was seriously ill, the Taoist priest wrote a memorial to confess his faults and asked Zijing, "What are the similarities and differences, gains and losses?" Zijing said, "I don't think of anything else, but I remember divorcing the Xi family."
Zhong Yu and Zhong Hui were well-known since they were young. When he was thirteen years old, Emperor Wen of Wei heard about it and said to his father Zhong Yao, "You can order the two sons to come." So he ordered an audience with him. Yu's face was sweating. The emperor asked, "Why is your face sweating?" Yu replied, "I am trembling with fear and sweating like pulp." The emperor asked Hui again, "Why are you not sweating?" Hui replied, "I am trembling with fear and sweating like pulp."
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