大鸡巴老头

My Immortal Life

The Young and the Rich: President, please take a detour

Zilu left Lu and asked Yan Yuan: "What gift do you have for me?" He said: "I have heard that when you leave your country, you should cry at the tomb before leaving; when you return to your country, you should not cry, but open the tomb and enter." He asked Zilu: "What do you do for me?" Zilu said: "I have heard that you should be polite when passing by a tomb, and be submissive when passing by a sacrifice."

Super News Eye

General Wang said of the Grand Commandant: "He is like a pearl among the crowd, among the tiles and stones."

Pool Cleaner

The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. ”

General, please accept my teasing

Emperor Wen once ordered the King of Dong'e to compose a poem within seven steps. If he failed, he would be punished. He immediately composed a poem: "Cook the beans and make soup, strain the beans to make juice. The firewood is burning under the pot, and the beans are crying in the pot. We are from the same root, why are we so eager to harm each other?" The emperor looked deeply ashamed.

Don't hold the pipa

Yuan Yang once visited Liu Hui, but Hui was sleeping inside and had not yet woken up. Yuan Yin composed a poem to tune it: "The horn pillow is as bright as the silk, and the brocade quilt is as rotten as the long mat." Liu Shang, the daughter of Emperor Ming of Jin, saw the poem and was dissatisfied, saying: "Yuan Yang, a madman left over from the ancient times!"